Are you looking to enrich and strengthen your marriage? Look no further than Dr. John Gottman’s renowned research on what makes marriages successful. With his seven principles for making marriage work, you can enhance your connection, improve communication, and foster deeper intimacy with your partner.
Keep reading for the 7 Priniciples that can help you create a stronger, more fulfilling marriage…
- Build Love Maps: Start by deepening your understanding of your partner’s world. Take the time to truly know each other’s likes, dislikes, dreams, and fears. Ask open-ended questions and actively listen to their responses. By creating detailed “love maps” of each other’s inner worlds, you’ll cultivate empathy and strengthen your emotional bond.
- Nurture Fondness and Admiration: Make a conscious effort to appreciate and admire your partner. Focus on their positive qualities and express gratitude for the little things they do. By nurturing fondness and admiration, you’ll foster a culture of appreciation and respect in your relationship.
- Turn Towards Each Other: Small moments of connection can have a big impact on your relationship. Practice turning towards each other by responding positively to bids for attention, affection, and support. Whether it’s a shared laugh, a comforting touch, or a meaningful conversation, prioritize these moments of connection to build trust and intimacy.
- The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Beware of criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling—the “four horsemen” that can derail even the strongest marriages. Instead, strive to communicate with kindness, openness, and respect. Address issues constructively, focusing on behaviors rather than attacking your partner’s character.
- Overcome Gridlock: Every marriage encounters areas of disagreement or conflict. Rather than letting these issues simmer unresolved, work together to overcome gridlock. Practice active listening, compromise, and finding common ground. By approaching conflict with empathy and understanding, you can strengthen your bond and find mutually satisfying solutions.
- Create Shared Meaning: Cultivate a sense of shared purpose and meaning in your marriage. Identify your shared values, goals, and traditions. Create rituals of connection that reinforce your bond and celebrate your partnership. By nurturing a shared sense of meaning, you’ll deepen your connection and weather life’s challenges together.
- Make Life Dreams Come True: Support each other’s dreams and aspirations. Take an active interest in your partner’s goals and ambitions, and work together to make them a reality. Whether it’s pursuing a career change, traveling the world, or starting a family, strive to be each other’s biggest cheerleader and ally.
Incorporating Gottman’s seven principles into your marriage can transform your relationship into a source of joy, fulfillment, and resilience. By prioritizing empathy, respect, and connection, you’ll create a foundation of love and trust that will sustain you through life’s ups and downs. Remember, a thriving marriage is built on a solid foundation of mutual understanding, respect, and love. Start applying these principles today, and watch your relationship flourish.